School Run Dodgems

Posted By KidGearUK on Monday, 29 February, 2016 | 8 comments



 

I’m all for putting some fun into daily life, making stuff into a game, like Mary Poppins and her spoonful of sugary crap. Though doesn’t she know her spoonful of sugar is rewarding kids with food, contributing to childhood obesity rates, giving them diabetes and rotting their teeth?! Seriously woman, read the newspapers!

 

Anyway, I digress. I turn stuff into a bit of a game sometimes, if you’ve never played fridge Tetris with your Christmas food shop, you don’t know what you’re missing! One game I’m not so keen on is school run dodgems. If you’ve done some of these then you’ve played it too

 

1. Get the kids into the car, belts on, ready for the scariest dodgem ride in fairground history. Meanwhile ticking off a mental checklist, “have I got book bags, PE bags, water bottles, lunch boxes?”, you start to wonder if it’d be easier to pack the whole house.

 

2. Off you go, driving to school, with a hundred other cars doing the same. You eye up the competition for parking spaces on the way. Muttering swear words under your breath when you spot several 4×4’s that’ll take up two spaces each.

 

3. Getting near the school now and you start bumping into people going the other way to get to work. Almost literally, as they speed round a blind bend in the middle of the road. You win extra points if you negotiate the bend and idiot driver without teaching your youngest child colourful language at the same time.

 

4. You’re near the school now and you keep edging along the road, wondering just how close to the school gates you can park. Beware! Many have fallen at the point of no return in school run dodgems. There’s no turning back if you get too far down the road and all the spaces are taken. The people behind will have either nabbed the spaces you passed or be irate if you three point turn. You’ll have to keep driving and do another loop.

School Run Dodgems
5. Fantastic. You’ve found a space close to the school but another parent coming the other way has spotted it too. Who spotted it first? Only a staring competition will decide who wins the prized piece of empty Tarmac.

 

6. They’ve backed down and driven off in a huff. As they pass, your heart skips a beat as you think you recognise the driver as the mum of the boy with a broken leg.

 

7. You pull out past the space to reverse in and hope no one behind you pushes in. You reverse back and notice the tired, grumpy faces of the drivers behind, all eyes on you, wishing you’d hurry up and judging your parking. You felt less nervous than this on your driving test.

 

8. Finally, you’re in. The cars parked on the wonk but it’ll do. Time to get out of the car and unstrap the kids whilst someone, whose fallen foul of the point of no return, zooms past to do another loop and nearly takes your door with them.

 

9. Now on foot the dodgems doesn’t stop. You wish you were still inside a metal box as you, laden with aforementioned book bags and lunch boxes, dodge an array of buggies and a kid on a micro scooter nearly flattens you.

 

10. You vow to leave earlier tomorrow to avoid all the rush but, deep down, you know that there’s more chance of a cold day in hell than getting your kids out the door earlier.

 

Don’t you just hate school run dodgems?

 

Pink Pear Bear
Cuddle Fairy

8 Comments

  1. Lol this made me laugh! I don’t do the school run yet but I fear it one day – it sounds and looks pretty chaotic! Each man…. or Mum, for themselves!! Thanks for posting xx #bigpinklink

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  2. The only saving grace for us on the school run is that we can walk it, but it is still utter chaos!! The buggies, scooters and crazed, panicking parents searching desperately for spaces make for an interesting crossing! In all honesty, I’m lucky if we all make it out of the house on time with noone learning any colourful language!! 😀 Thanks so much for linking up with the special leap year #bigpinklink

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  3. Love it! Perfectly describing the fun and games I endure twice a day! How I survive I’ll never know #coolmumclub

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  4. Hah! Completely agree. I only started the school run for the first time in September and that was hell. (See my post that I wrote then – http://bit.ly/1Q7tsiM).
    I hate the school run! #Coolmumclub

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  5. Ha ha, yes I totally do hate it! I always cringe when people say they saw me driving like a loon on the school run…I turn into a mad woman on a mission…I hate being late!
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

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  6. Oh soooo funny! Your school run sounds so much like my own! Getting a place to park is what it’s all about – those parents who park inappropriately, the having to squeeze a three point turn into a tiny space, the pressure of parallel parking in front of everyone… the joys! Thanks so much for linking up with #bloggerclubuk x

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  7. Ha ha! And I thought trying to get my dawdling boy back home through the park while not waking the baby in the buggy was a challenge! I’m so glad nursery is just a walk away.

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