There’s one thing I’ve found the hard way since becoming s mum 6.5 years ago, parenthood is hazardous!
We all know that kids spread bugs like wildfire, I’ve lost count of the number of colds they’ve given me. They’ve also helpfully shared with me norovirus, flu, tonsillitis (twice!) and conjunctivitis. However, as I sit here with a fat lip thanks to a collision with a swing, I have to say I wasn’t quite aware pre-kids just how many physical injuries they’d manage to give me!
1. Being used as a climbing frame
Sit on the floor or lay in bed you can guarantee you’ll end up with a small child on your back. They’ve got you now, one false move and you’ll end up with a elbow in your ribs and a swift kick to the head.
2. Sporting target
If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. Oh yes, the day will come when you get hit by a football or frantically dodge a scooter before you’re run over. As a child, my husband excitedly came home from a karate lesson wanting to show off his new ninja moves and accidentally punched his own mother in the face.
3. Trip hazards
Small children make sudden movements. Doing so whilst playing on the floor and suddenly you have a wriggly, unpredictable trip hazard on your hands.
4. Playground and soft play equipment
Some kids find climbing up easier than getting down, resulting in a small crying child stuck at the top of a play frame. Climbing up something designed for people less than half your height in order to rescue them often doesn’t end well. Watch your head and don’t get your bum stuck on the slide!
5. Babies = bad backs.
Even parents of tiny babies don’t escape. Hours of feeding, bending to pick them up, hefting a carrier car seat, carrying them when they won’t let you put them down can wreak havoc on your back.
They get left on the floor, halfway up the stairs, in your bed. They lie in wait, biding their time before an unsuspecting foot lands upon them. Stepping on Lego is only slightly less painful than stepping on an upturned plug.
What parenthood hazards have happened to you?